Church

It's really hard to get myself to church each week. I felt like after miscarrying I had a good excuse to stay home and "miss out" on all the sights and sounds of church. I am aware, that the reason I should be going to church is to partake of the sacrament, I just haven't mastered the art of controlling my emotions that come with all of this yet. I didn't feel stable in the least bit. I checked on my kids one last time before heading to bed and noticed my oldest two had laid out their Sunday clothes without me even mentioning to them it was church in the morning. I specifically hadn't said anything to them about church with the hope that it would slip silently by without one of them asking, "Why aren't we going to church today?" After seeing their clothes laid out, I couldn't disappoint them. So we went to church.

After dropping the kids off to their classes, I was walking down the hall when I noticed a pregnant woman ahead of me. I took a deep breath and continued on my way. As I passed, another woman came up to her and said, "How are you feeling?" "Ughhhh, I can't wait for this to be over!" she said loudly. I could not even believe what I had just heard. My ears started ringing. My heart felt stabbed to the core. I was livid! I just breathed in deeply and continued passing, trying to keep my focus.

Really?! Do you really mean you can't wait for it to be over?!!! Because it can be over in an instant!  Do you not have any idea what a miracle it is to be pregnant and have your baby alive and growing inside? I would give anything to have another day pregnant with my babies!