My Visit

All day I had this longing to be near my baby. Something was pulling me to her. I found a chance to sneak away and visit Tess by myself for a little while. I was excited to spend all the time I wanted with just her and me. I sat in the grass and had a nice talk. I felt so close to her. I'm at peace that she is layed to rest surrounded by family I have known and loved all my life... Baby Marilyn, Grandma and Grandpa Turner, Grandpa and Grandma Great, Truman...  I have so many fond childhood memories here in this cemetery. I feel like I am in my own personal sanctuary. I plucked some of the roses out of her vase and pulled the pink petals off one by one. They were still fresh even though we brought them for her last week. I placed the petals on the ground in circles around hers, Marilyn's and Grandma's graves. I sat and listened to my thoughts and heart. I loved this place so much! I wish I could stay. I miss my little Tesslee.  I long to feel her frog legs kicking me. I can't wait to hold her hand. I dream about what color her eyes are. I'm so excited to see her beautiful eyes open and gazing back at me. It will be Heaven to my heart. Sometimes I watch Kilee and Ellee and wonder if I am staring at what Tesslee looks like too. She looked just like them. I can feel her presence a lot. Its so strange to feel like I know Tesslee so well and recognize when she is near, yet have all the details be a mystery I have to wait for. I like this thought. It feels good to have something so dear to look forward to. This visit was just what my heart needed today.  I feel renewed.